I Need a New Goal

I’m not really sure where to start either.

What I do know is that it has come to my attention that I have finally finished my 365 Blog Challenge. Okay, so it took me about 2 months longer than it should have, but the fact remains, I finally finished it. Now what?

I follow a wonderful blogger who has dedicated herself to writing once a week, rather than the once a day that she had been. She was, and still is, much more dedicated to it than I am. Not that I don’t want to be, but really, I noticed that regardless of how short her blogs were, she always made it a point to write one every day. It was really quite inspiring.

The problem is, I’ve reached, yet another, impasse. I’m more than just a little frustrated at the lack of forward motion my lifelong dream is experiencing, but I can only blame myself. As I do every year, I allow myself to get wrapped up in the half a dozen activities that my children want to participate in, and I leave no time for myself. Heck, I’m surprised I’ve found an opportunity to write in the midst of all the running around. Thankfully, though, tonight was mild in comparison to some of the others I’ve seen lately. I know it will only get better too, but for now, I’m hectic every minute of the day, it seems. As it always does though, all of the time spent running to and from activities leaves me little to no time to think about doing something for me, let alone actually accomplishing anything. Truth be told, I really wouldn’t have it any other way, but some days, I wish I had more time. In addition, I am currently studying for a test I’d rather not take. A test that just might keep me at my job a little while longer. A job, that for all intents and purposes, is getting me nowhere closer to my ultimate goal.

Or is it?

I regularly forget that I am acting as sole editor of my company’s newsletter. That has to count for something when my dream is to become a writer in some capacity. I guess it doesn’t help that I only get to play this role once every couple of months, and for a short 2-4 week span of time. I truly am hopeful though that this role will one day help me as I move ever closer to my dream. So, maybe I am moving forward after all. Maybe it’s just more slowly than I would like.

But still, I need a new goal. I need a new way to use my talents. I know I’ve got them, but I also know that 8 weeks out of a year is not enough. I should be doing more. But what? That is where the impasse begins. I’ve never been much of a thinker that way. Never really been good about looking outside of the box for ideas to help me get closer to where I want to go.

Maybe that should be my goal.

A year ago, when I started writing, I did it to get experience doing it, so I didn’t feel so weird. Though I knew I should write, I had never really done it, so it didn’t really feel normal. Well, now it does. Mission accomplished. But now, I need to dig deeper, look harder, and stretch farther. What is my purpose? How should I use my talents to achieve my ultimate goals? Sure, I’m not going to reach that goal overnight, but maybe in a year I can be closer to it than I am right now. Just like I did this past year. It’s worth a shot.

So, that’s my goal. Each week, I’ll find a new way to use my talents, so that rather than using my skills only 8 weeks out of a year, I’m using them 52 weeks. Then, of course, I’ll blog about what I’ve done, or what I’ve thought to do, or maybe the research I’ve conducted. Who knows, but at least I’ll be making progress. And that’s been my goal, all along.

Be who you are

Today at work, I learned a fact about a friend that until today, she felt the need to hide.

In fact, from our conversation, it was clear that she feels compelled to continue to keep the information private because she has no desire to be judged based on the intimate details of her life.

In my opinion, what she told me isn’t nearly as important as why she feels the need to keep it a secret from the rest of the company. While I understand that her personal life isn’t the concern of those with whom she works, she shouldn’t have to worry about someone judging her for something that doesn’t affect anyone else. But I knew she was right. And it made me sad.

You shouldn’t have to hide who you are because people are judgmental and cruel. Even if no one has a reason to behave in that manner, that fact alone wouldn’t necessarily stop someone from saying something that could be construed as hateful.

Then again, she is only 23. Not that age makes a difference, but in some ways I remember being that age too, and I was a lot more self-conscious about what people thought or said about me than I am now. I’ve learned that I’m not going to make everyone happy, so there is no need to try. I am who I am with no regrets and no excuses because what others think of me shouldn’t affect what I think of me.

It’s for that reason that I’m going to end this post with two of my favorite quotes.

What people in the world think of you is really none of your business

-Martha Graham

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

-Dr Seuss