I Need a New Goal

I’m not really sure where to start either.

What I do know is that it has come to my attention that I have finally finished my 365 Blog Challenge. Okay, so it took me about 2 months longer than it should have, but the fact remains, I finally finished it. Now what?

I follow a wonderful blogger who has dedicated herself to writing once a week, rather than the once a day that she had been. She was, and still is, much more dedicated to it than I am. Not that I don’t want to be, but really, I noticed that regardless of how short her blogs were, she always made it a point to write one every day. It was really quite inspiring.

The problem is, I’ve reached, yet another, impasse. I’m more than just a little frustrated at the lack of forward motion my lifelong dream is experiencing, but I can only blame myself. As I do every year, I allow myself to get wrapped up in the half a dozen activities that my children want to participate in, and I leave no time for myself. Heck, I’m surprised I’ve found an opportunity to write in the midst of all the running around. Thankfully, though, tonight was mild in comparison to some of the others I’ve seen lately. I know it will only get better too, but for now, I’m hectic every minute of the day, it seems. As it always does though, all of the time spent running to and from activities leaves me little to no time to think about doing something for me, let alone actually accomplishing anything. Truth be told, I really wouldn’t have it any other way, but some days, I wish I had more time. In addition, I am currently studying for a test I’d rather not take. A test that just might keep me at my job a little while longer. A job, that for all intents and purposes, is getting me nowhere closer to my ultimate goal.

Or is it?

I regularly forget that I am acting as sole editor of my company’s newsletter. That has to count for something when my dream is to become a writer in some capacity. I guess it doesn’t help that I only get to play this role once every couple of months, and for a short 2-4 week span of time. I truly am hopeful though that this role will one day help me as I move ever closer to my dream. So, maybe I am moving forward after all. Maybe it’s just more slowly than I would like.

But still, I need a new goal. I need a new way to use my talents. I know I’ve got them, but I also know that 8 weeks out of a year is not enough. I should be doing more. But what? That is where the impasse begins. I’ve never been much of a thinker that way. Never really been good about looking outside of the box for ideas to help me get closer to where I want to go.

Maybe that should be my goal.

A year ago, when I started writing, I did it to get experience doing it, so I didn’t feel so weird. Though I knew I should write, I had never really done it, so it didn’t really feel normal. Well, now it does. Mission accomplished. But now, I need to dig deeper, look harder, and stretch farther. What is my purpose? How should I use my talents to achieve my ultimate goals? Sure, I’m not going to reach that goal overnight, but maybe in a year I can be closer to it than I am right now. Just like I did this past year. It’s worth a shot.

So, that’s my goal. Each week, I’ll find a new way to use my talents, so that rather than using my skills only 8 weeks out of a year, I’m using them 52 weeks. Then, of course, I’ll blog about what I’ve done, or what I’ve thought to do, or maybe the research I’ve conducted. Who knows, but at least I’ll be making progress. And that’s been my goal, all along.

It’s been a good day.

This morning I woke up knowing it was going to be a good day.

I’m not really sure why either, considering this isn’t a normal feeling I have on my way to work, on a Tuesday no less. Usually, I’m ready to draw blood. Of course, the obvious factors are generally in rare form, and when the week has just started, that’s not exactly a good thing.

But today, I chose to be in a good mood, and that mentality continued for the entire day I was at work. That’s a rare and fantastic occurrence, might I add. I think there were a lot of factors that played into my good mood, but mostly, it was that I chose not to allow those little things that I usually allow upset me to bother me today. The guy clearing his throat, the questions that never stop coming, or the coworker who complains about everything she can think of. None of those things got to me.

Then, part way through my day, I found myself with ample time to spare, which gave me the chance to work on the next edition of my company’s newsletter. And I never have time to do that. After the events of last week, and my many unsuccessful attempts at finding a job that will suit my talents and interests, I realized I may be sticking around this company a little while longer than I had originally hoped. So, at the very least, I have an opportunity to use my creativity and talents in a capacity that is appreciated and useful to my current employer.

I guess if I’m not getting paid for what I love to do just yet, this is the next best thing.

I knew it was going to be a good day.