Camping

I never used to be much into camping. Recently though, I have started to enjoy the serenity that nature has to offer.

I’m currently on a farm, in rural Missouri for a family friend’s annual camping weekend. We call it “Applebutter”. It is a weekend spent camping, hanging out, drinking (of course) and making apple butter, from scratch. If you’ve never done it, it’s quite an intricate process. We start by peeling and chopping the apples, followed by grinding them into basically applesauce in a meat grinder. Then, the following day, we use a copper pot, over a wood burning fire (which, based on the amount of wind we are experiencing, will likely be done inside the barn, this year), to mix the apples. This lasts several hours and requires the constant stirring by the men of the group. Once the apples are cooked down enough, We add the sugar/cinnamon mixture until it’s ready for jarring. Then, a caravan of women work to jar the apple butter quickly an efficiently to ensure optimal flavor. It’s an amazing tradition and one I’m thankful to be a part of for so many years.

It’s not just that part of the tradition, though. I also have the opportunity to relax in a way that I don’t normally relax. I sit outside for hours, sometimes all by myself, just enjoying the weather and the calmness of the camping experience. I listen to the sounds of my friends and family, never worrying that I have anywhere to be or anything specific that I have to do. And I love that.

I also love that interspersed with moments of calm are moments of chaos. Nothing is scripted or predicted and we go with the moment. Life just gets to happen. No rules, no pattern and no expectations.

It’s time to get batch though. Time to enjoy peace and quiet with my family and friends. Time to enjoy life. Peace.

Mindful Eating

Many dietitians call it Intiuitive Eating.

The concept is simple, really. Intuitive eating rejects traditional dieting methods and focuses on making peace with one’s personal releationship with food. It encourages a person to honor the times they are hungry and to fuel themselves with wholesome, nutrient-dense foods. It also rejects the notion of good foods vs bad foods, which so many modern diets emphasize.

Over recent years, we’ve grown into a culture obsessed with diets, obsessed with get thin quick schemes, and we seem to have forgotten the very principles of food and nourishment. So many diets require you to restrict the type of foods you eat or control the times in which you are allowed to consume said foods while intuitive eating encourages eating when you are hungry and even giving into unhealthy cravings now and then. Of course, it’s not healthy to binge on those types of foods, but an occassional treat can help ward off unnecessary binging.

But I’ll get off my soapbox now. That wasn’t really the point of this post, but it is what I’ve learned lately. There are a lot of really amazing registered dietitians on social media who are focusing their efforts on helping people break free from the cycle of toxic dieting habits and create new ones. I personally think it’s a really great movement, and I am taking my own steps to create my own healthy eating habits.

Over the last week, I’ve found a lot of new recipes that I’m excited to try. Recipes full of protein, fiber, whole grains and healthy fats. I do everything in my power to make it to the gym at least 3 days a week, and sometimes, more if I can. At the same time, I don’t restrict myself from eating foods that would normally be considered ‘bad’. I eat pasta, bread, and even some snacks. I don’t make myself feel bad about it, but I don’t make those items my primary source of fuel either. And that’s the point. Ironically enough, I’ve already started to see results. Of course, I know that any real results will take time but the fact remains, it’s a philosophy that really works. I’ve seen the results on others, and I know how much better I feel since putting it into practice, myself. I feel better because I am eating better foods, and I feel better because I’m not make other foods the enemy. I took some before pictures, a week ago, that I’m not ready to share with others. But if this works the way I think it will, I will show them alongside some after photos to compare, in a few weeks. Stay tuned.

It’s Been A While

I don’t remember the last time I did this. For me, anyway. I used to love to write, but then I started getting paid, and I found myself growing anxious about it. I still loved writing but it became something that had a price tag; a price tag that could be taken away if I wasn’t good enough.

I’m sure I’m not the only writer to go through that, but, for me, it all became too much. Too much stress. Too much anxiety. Too much worry that, one day, my inexperience and lack of formal education would shine through. I really tried hard, too; I wanted people to see passed that. My editor was amazing; she taught me so much about blogging, and writing, in general. Of course, I’ve forgotten most of it, but she really believed in me, which made me believe in me. It made me want to be better.

One day though, my worst fear came true. She called me up. She told me budget cuts required her to let a few people go. I was one of them. The weird part was, part of me was sad, and I’ll admit, I cried when she told me. In a weird way though, part of me was relieved. At the time, I really didn’t know why, either. I chalked it up to the fact that I knew I wasn’t a good writer, and they must have finally figured it out.

I thought about that for a long time after that moment, too.

But it’s been several years since then, and I’ve grown a lot. I can look back at that experience much differently than I looked at it then. I do know that my lack of education and my inexperience probably were contributing factors, but I also came to realize it had started to slowly strip away everything I loved about writing. Writing was no longer fun for me.

The funny part is, I don’t remember the moment it finally hit me; the moment I realized how much I missed writing. Truth be told, I think it was somewhere between finding new hobbies and buying a new sewing machine. Whenever it was, I started to miss the joy of putting my thoughts into words, if for nobody else than for myself. I finally remembered why I loved to write. I remembered that I do it for me.

So, one day, I may revisit the idea of getting paid to write, but for now, I’m going to focus on me.