Monthly Archives: February 2014
If it’s not in the house, I won’t eat it
I think that will be my new philosophy going forward.
It makes sense really. I can’t eat something I haven’t placed virtually under my nose. In some ways, I am certain that will be the best form of discipline, especially when it comes to certain foods.
I first thought about it this morning on the drive to work. Every Tuesday, the radio show I listen to features the owner of a local gym who also was a contestant on the Biggest Loser. He discusses his weight loss journey, what he hopes to achieve at his fitness club, and many other topics of conversation revolving around food addiction and weight loss.
Though I have never gone through many of the experiences or share the same anxieties regarding food, I can relate to different aspects of the conversation. Even as someone who wants to tone up and slim down a bit, I fight similar urges when I get home from work or before I go to bed. I want to reach into the cupboard and pull out whatever junk food sounds good at the time. But that won’t help me get where I’m going.
Well, today, one of the morning hosts talked about her way of combating those urges. When you don’t have junk food in the house, you won’t feel compelled to eat junk food when you’re hungry. It’s genius really.
Then, later in the day, I thought about it again when my daughter called me after she got home from school. She asked what she could have as a snack and suggested a sandwich. Mind you, she already knew we had dinner planned for the evening. When I told her no, she asked for a half of a sandwich, and when I once again refuted her request, she complained that there was nothing to eat. To that, I suggest the variety of fruit and vegetables I knew were in the fridge. Turning up her nose in disgust, she opted to eat nothing rather than eat something healthy. Suit yourself, I thought.
But she can’t do that for long. Eventually, if all I buy is healthy food, there will be nothing left to eat but, you guessed it, healthy food.
This will be both beneficial for me AND my children. I call that a win-win.
Now, if only I can rid my house of those blasted Girl Scout Cookies.
Sunday Funday
Yesterday, I was feeling ambitious.
Not sure what came over me, but from the moment I woke up, I was in the mood to move. Actually, that’s how I was this entire weekend. Both started with early mornings and a trip to the gym to start the day off right. I’m thinking that’s what kick-started my motivation and kept me going through it all.
Well, after an early night at home on Saturday, I awoke around 8:00 unable to go back to sleep. We didn’t have to be to my dad’s until nearly 11:00, so there was no point in wasting the morning laying there when I could be getting in some gym time. After about 15 minutes, and some coffee, of course, I convinced Tony that we should go, and he begrudgingly got ready. Once done, we headed to my dad’s where my sister brought up the idea of doing a little baking. I realized I hadn’t baked in a while, and since the gym was already out of the way, I started thinking of all the things I wanted to make.
That’s when the ambition really took over.
First, I decided to put the bananas in my freezer to good use. I always talked about making banana bread, but hadn’t gotten anywhere close to doing it, so, I figured this would be as good of a time as any. Then, I remembered that I promised Tony cookies for his birthday, and added that to my list as well. Next, Jaiden requested we make cucumber sandwich snacks and I decided I wanted to make some zucchini brownies to round out the afternoon.
So, I made my list and headed to the store to do some grocery shopping before landing at home for the remainder of the day. Not only did we complete all of our baking projects, we even washed all the dishes and made it out for ice cream.
Yes, I realize we just made plenty of goodies, but ice cream was promised long before I had ever dreamed of making anything at home.
Besides, I was in the mood for some blueberry sherbet.
Change of Plans
There is nothing more frustrating than when you spend all day preparing to go hang out with friends that night just to have them flake out on you at the last minute.
In my opinion, it shows very little class and integrity.
Especially when your way of canceling plans is to avoid contact with the other parties altogether. I understand when things happen and plans have to change, but at the same time, when you fail to communicate it shows that the plans weren’t really that important to you in the first place. At least that’s how I feel when it happens.
I try not to let it bother me as much as I used to, but I understand that’s easier said than done.
Last night, Tony and I had plans to hang out with some of my work friends for a night of bowling and drinks. We were sure it was going to be a good time, and were pretty excited to be doing something different for a change. But I guess it just wasn’t in the cards. Instead, about 30 minutes before we were supposed to meet, my friend who had set up the night’s plans sent me a message. One person was dealing with my family issues, and obviously, wasn’t going to make it. Family takes precedence and we weren’t upset by the cancellation. Then, were the other two sets of people.
One person couldn’t find a babysitter. Now, I have children, so I understand that it’s not easy finding someone to watch your child on short notice; however, that wasn’t the case in this situation. We’d made these plans several days prior, which gives plenty of time to make arrangements. In my opinion, when you really want to go somewhere or do something, you make the effort. Maybe not, and maybe they legitimately couldn’t find a sitter. Fine. It happens.
The other person is the one we question just a little bit more. It seems she took a nap; somewhere close to 12 hours. In my opinion, that’s not a nap. That’s called sleeping. Well, the other friend who made the plans posted something about her frustration on Facebook, without actually calling out our other friend. I admit this was a childish move, but she really had the right to be upset. Even worse, the other friend didn’t actually seem bothered by the fact that she blew off her original plans. She was just upset that she was called out on flaking out.
Whatever the excuse, I understand when things go wrong. There’s a mistake in judgment, or something just happens. No matter what the case, it’s important to make it right. Feelings were hurt, and a friendship damaged. If you really care, you’ll do what’s necessary to fix it.
That might have been a mistake
All I can say is that it sounded like a good idea at the time. And for the most part, even after the fact, I didn’t exactly regret my decision.
I’m just glad I went to the gym this morning and really rocked out.
I splurged. Had a “cheat day”, if you will. I’m not going to lie though; I don’t think my guts are appreciating the gesture right about now. In fact, if I had to guess, I’d say my insides are cursing me for the bad life choice. And who could blame them, really? I mean, I sort of went all out. I’m not trying to excuse myself. I knew what I was doing. I did it on purpose. I just think karma has taken over.
It sure was tasty though.
My boyfriend and I went to a small, hometown bar and grill that serves the most delicious, but incredibly greasy, thick cheeseburgers you could ever imagine. Since I’m not in the habit of consuming high fat, high calorie meals like the one I ate today, I probably wouldn’t take it back even if I knew how it would end up. Even before we sat down, Tony and I were having the conversation about how I realized I will never been a strictly health food nut.
I’m good with that though. It’s all about moderation, but at the same time, I have to know when’s enough. I probably shouldn’t have eaten those last couple of bites. If I had to guess, I would say that is probably what sent my stomach over the edge. For that reason, I’ve decided to take it easy on myself for dinner. Ya know, leave out the starch, sugar and grease.
My stomach will thank me later.
Seeing Results!
Tonight, I put on a pair of jeans that didn’t fit me less than two months ago.
What a great feeling that was too. Now, these jeans don’t fit me nearly as well as they did two years ago, but hey, progress is progress.
I remember the last time I tried working out. I didn’t have anything in particular that struck me as important enough to want to keep going. No pair of jeans, no favorite shirt, nothing that made me realize that what I am doing is really worth it after all. Until now.
I remember when I tried the pair of jeans on a couple of months ago, and how I sad I was to realize not only were they tight, but I couldn’t have buttoned them if I wanted to. I didn’t even realize, at that moment, how significant of a role these jeans would play in my life. When I put them on tonight, I didn’t actually think they would fit. I put them on remembering exactly what happened the last time, and jokingly thinking to myself, “Wouldn’t that be great if they fit this time?”. And they did. Talk about an awesome moment too.
And to think. I was just thinking about what I wanted to eat tonight and how I planned on making it a “cheat night”. Not that I’m doing the greatest food-wise, but I do pay a lot more attention to what I consume than I used to. I wanted to eat something terrible. Ya know, splurge a little. It just sounded good.
But not now. This only motivates me to not only keep going, but to try harder. If after less than two months, I am already seeing results, then I guess there is no point in turning back now. It’s like when I quit smoking. I started to feel better and the thought of ruining all of my hard work for a little fun no longer seemed like a good idea. I just couldn’t see trashing all of my progress with one cigarette.
And I’m not going to do that with food now. So, Subway it is. This was just the motivation I needed
Frustrated
Frustrated only begins to scratch the surface of how my day went today.
As I may have mentioned in previous posts, I’m currently learning a new role at work. And as such, I have a lot of questions. There are a multitude of situations that I have yet to come across, so I question most aspects of my daily work.
In a weird way, I’m okay with not knowing everything about my job right now. This is weird for me because usually I need to be the one with all the information. That isn’t going to happen just yet, and I am aware of that. My job is far too complex and there are way too many components for me to grasp everything all at once. At least with my last job I had done it before, so catching on was really very simple. This isn’t the same.
The funny part is, although I have come to terms with my shortcomings, I am starting to wonder if my manager has. He seems put out that I ask him so many questions even though it’s only been a week. Karmatic(yes, I’m pretty sure I just made up that word), I’m aware, but still, it’s frustrating because he looks at me as though I am stupid for not knowing the answer to my question and somehow assumes I will understand whether or not I have ever seen anything like it before. I have gotten used to shrugging my shoulders and reminding him that I’m not quite sure what he’s talking about, but that I’m sure I will one day. I understand that this is similar to me getting frustrated with my coworker whom I’ve been training for almost three months, but the biggest difference is, I highly doubt it will take me that long to start to grasp most repetitive aspects of my new role. At least I hope it doesn’t anyway.
Needless to say, it’s days like today that remind me to continue searching for a job in my field. I’m still upset with myself that I let the most perfect opportunity slip out of my fingertips, but I will never allow that to happen again. I can’t. I’ll never forgive myself. I hardly forgive myself as it is. But I’ll find one, or at least one that will lead me in the right direction. Either way, I’ll get where I’m going. I just can’t stop moving forward.
The Health Food Fiasco
Alright, well, it’s really not a fiasco. That might be overdoing it; however, trying to find the right meal plan for my family is definitely turning out to be much more difficult than I thought it would be.
I know that something needs to change, and obviously, I have to be the one who changes it. We eat too much garbage.
I make the money, and I do the grocery shopping. Those two reasons alone should make this a relatively painless process. Though I realize I’m going to experience a fair amount of resistance, that should sway my decision-making when I’m at the store. It does though; they are just kids. I don’t really believe they should be forced to only eat the healthiest foods. Of course, we could probably remove many of the incredibly unhealthy aspects of their diet and they still wouldn’t be missing very much, but I don’t think they should always go without either. I think that is part of the reason why, after I moved out on my own, I spent several years eating junk food and downing soda by the 20 ounces. Now, I did return to my healthier ways, but I still find it difficult to tear myself away from the junk food, even though I know it would be in my best interest.
I just need to find some balance.
As I start to head toward my mid-thirties, I’m aware that my metabolism has slowed tremendously. No longer a girl of 20 who could eat everything you set in front of her, if I don’t take care of myself, I would do as I’ve watched so many others do. I’ll let myself go. I don’t want that. It’s mainly because I’m afraid I’ll resent my significant other for something he has no control over. I know it isn’t fair, but it is really easy to fall into a bad routine when you get in a serious relationship because you know you don’t have to try anymore. I don’t really want to stop trying though. That isn’t the person I want to be.
One plan that I’ve considered started is the Paleo Diet. I haven’t looked into it much, but I have a friend who has tracked her progress on Facebook and seems to be having some great results. From the sound of it, I eat this type of diet, at least for dinner, for the most part. I would just need to find different ways to implement that type of plan into my other meals as well. I think I will research it, and maybe some other nutrition plans to see what will be right for my family.
Be who you are
Today at work, I learned a fact about a friend that until today, she felt the need to hide.
In fact, from our conversation, it was clear that she feels compelled to continue to keep the information private because she has no desire to be judged based on the intimate details of her life.
In my opinion, what she told me isn’t nearly as important as why she feels the need to keep it a secret from the rest of the company. While I understand that her personal life isn’t the concern of those with whom she works, she shouldn’t have to worry about someone judging her for something that doesn’t affect anyone else. But I knew she was right. And it made me sad.
You shouldn’t have to hide who you are because people are judgmental and cruel. Even if no one has a reason to behave in that manner, that fact alone wouldn’t necessarily stop someone from saying something that could be construed as hateful.
Then again, she is only 23. Not that age makes a difference, but in some ways I remember being that age too, and I was a lot more self-conscious about what people thought or said about me than I am now. I’ve learned that I’m not going to make everyone happy, so there is no need to try. I am who I am with no regrets and no excuses because what others think of me shouldn’t affect what I think of me.
It’s for that reason that I’m going to end this post with two of my favorite quotes.
What people in the world think of you is really none of your business
-Martha Graham
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
-Dr Seuss
A series of unfortunate events
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed, it’s that when one thing goes terribly wrong, it generally sparks a series of equally depressing events.
I took my car into the shop today because of a flat tire. As I’ve noted before, my car is utterly the bane of my existence. It seeks to strip me of all my money and cause me heartache and pain. Keep in mind, I’ve known this for quite some time, but that really does nothing to ease the slow, steady increase of pain. After 30 minutes of waiting, the tech came out to give me an update. Much to my dismay, but not surprise, there was more than met the eye. I thought I needed a patch or, at the very least, a new tire. My tires aren’t cheap, so, just in case, I was fully prepared to spend slightly under the $200 mark for repairs. But, in addition to the damaged tire, I was informed that my wheel is cracked, and a used wheel alone would cost nearly $250 and wouldn’t be in for approximately three days. The tech offered to call Mazda, on the off chance I could get a new one sooner and for a reasonably similar price. No luck. That one would take longer to arrive, and cost me twice as much.
No thanks. I’ll just take used.
So, she called her vendor back to order the used wheel and had the other techs put my car back together. That’s when she dropped the bomb that her vendor had quoted her an inaccurate price. At almost $50 shy of the original price, I was told that I would be spending nearly $300 for the wheel on top of the $150 for the tire. So, after spending nearly $500, my car will finally be repaired sometime this week. Wonderful.
Having other errands to run, I tried not to let this ruin my day. That was when I realized I’d left my wallet at home with my debit card and cash. So, instead of making the most out of my time, running home seemed to be my next stop. I came home to realize that although I had started my dishwasher, I had failed to turn on the water, which, for a portable dishwasher, is a huge problem. Then, as walking through the house, I hit my hand on a door knob as I was passing by. Seriously? Could this day get any worse?
I hope not.
It’s been a rough one.
Now for lunch with my youngest and shopping! That should be fun, right?
It's time to spread my wings and fly... 